This is a true, grimace-inducing story from a past position. Names and details have been changed to protect the innocent…and everyone else involved.

I’m running a model and taking a late lunch in a near empty cafeteria when my (then) boss slacks me. He wants an immediate video call. Like many, Adam was an engineering manager-turned-data science manager. He was very hands-off for the most part. But, he was prone to sudden bursts of interest.

“Where are you in your project?” His tone and lack of greeting make it clear he is stressed.

Adam’s background didn’t lend him to data science jargon, so I had long before learned to explain my work in straightforward language–particularly when he was already frustrated.

“I’m running a model now. I just finished making more columns–err–input variables–to improve predictions.”

“How long will that take?”

“We’re already using predictions from an early model, but I’ve been working back and forth with some of the subject matter experts, creating new input data, training models, improving performance…”

“Well when are you going to have a deliverable?” he’s agitated.

“We’re already using the predictions. I’m just working on improving–“

“But when will you have something to ship?” he interrupts. “James has already shipped four features this quarter.”

I stare at the screen. He glares back at me from beneath the finger-print smudges, brows knit and demanding an explanation.

James was a data scientist on a different team. We were friendly and caught up regularly around the modern day water cooler (READ: pamplemousse La Croix-filled fridge). As is often the case, we kept abreast of each other’s work out of vague collaborative intention, common interest in the company, and a general sense of camaraderie. Also, snacks.

So, I happen to know that James had already accomplished much more that quarter than building a four columns.

But why is Adam so impressed by feature engineering a few columns? And why is he calling them “shipped”?

“I need to see what features you’ve shipped.” He’s looking down at his phone, the edge of which is in view of the camera.

Why is he calling them “shipped”?

“Are you working on the website or the app?”

What?

“You need to be shipping features.” He gestures with his phone still in his hand.

Why…….ohhhhh shit.

Where do I begin?

“So…a feature–in data science–is a column of input data,” I explain.

Blank stare.

A pair of analysts I know sit at my table. Extra shit. I check my pocket for headphones. No luck.

“What do you mean, a feature in data science?” his aggression is waning but I scoot to the edge of the table nonetheless.

“It’s a column of data–the input values for a model.” I pause to see where that lands. “And feature engineering means building columns of input data. James built four columns of input data.” And to give credit where it’s due, “…He’s also done a lot more than that.”

Adam’s looking at me suspiciously, but not altogether in disbelief.

“In data science a feature isn’t like….a button on an app or a drop down menu or something.” The change in his facial expression tells me–yep, that’s what he was thinking. His phone drops out of sight. “A feature is a predictor–an input value.” I searched for another way to say it. “A column of X.”

Nothing.

“Ok, so today I finished creating change-in-weekly-spend columns because I think they might help predict churn.”

He looks at me blankly. This is getting nowhere.

“So, the features are change-in-weekly-spend. I made one for each of the 10 weeks prior to a set of given dates.” Pause. “So I feature engineered those input values. I’m training a model using them now.”

Silence.

“I shipped 10 features this morning.”

“Ok, see this is what I need to know.” He was relieved. “I need to be showing your value. You should be telling me this. I would have said so this morning.”

After a quick bit of chat commiserating about meetings, the call ends.

I slump on the bench. What else has been lost in translation? I think to myself. What does he think I do? What is he saying at those–

“Did he just ask you what a feature was?” One of the analysts asks.